A place further than the universe
Everybody has something they find comfort in, maybe it's watching a certain movie or reading a book that gives you that warm feeling you crave.
One of my comforts is the anime series "A place further than the universe". This series follows 4 girls who make it their goal to travel to Antartica and their journey to get there.
I am on one of the last episodes and one quote really resonates with me. One of the girls, Tamaki, asks Kobuchizawa how she feels about going to the place she worked so hard for to reach, because she does not seem to show much emotion. Kobuchizawa answers;
I am not particularly depressed or stressed about it. I actually feel pretty normal, somehow... Maybe too normal, I guess? I was sure that I'd break down crying when I got to Antartica.
"So this is what my mother saw.", "These are the sights that captivated my mother.", "This place is so amazing it's no wonder she wanted to come.", I thought that's how I'd feel. But that wasn't what I ended up thinking at all. The most I could muster was, "Wow, it's just like in the pictures." (...) It's like, why did I even come this far, then? But... But... once we get there, there's no place left to go. It'll all be over. If I go and nothing changes... I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life feeling the way I do now.
The past days, I have felt these exact kind of feelings. Going after the thing that drives you, then getting within reach of that destination only to be left with a feeling of fear. Fear that once you get to reach a place further than the universe, there is nothing after it.
But to follow it up with a quote from Gin Tōdō, describing why she came on this journey, from that same episode;
At the end of the day, those ideas we latch onto aren't enough to motivate us. But when faced with the cruelty of life, they're the only things that can break through, make the impossible possible, and allow us to continue on. That's what I believe.
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